Some more words for revising

I've been finding so many more traps in my writing that I hadn't even thought of before. Let's consider them, shall we?

Probably The odd thing is that ever since I started noticing this in my own manuscripts, I've been seeing it used in published books. You know what? It isn't needed 90% (or more) of the time and 5% of the time it is used incorrectly. Consider: "He probably was mad because I left the milk on the counter again." Hmmm. I think we know he is mad, so why would he probably be mad? He is mad. He might be mad because the milk was left on the counter. But since we are presuming this is a first person sentence, then we most likely know why he is mad. So let's strip the probability out of the sentence all together. "He was mad. I had left the milk on the counter. Again." See, that's much nicer. It gets the point across and that pesky probably word is gone. When you edit through for this word, read your sentences without the probablies and see if they don't read more concise and more sure.

I think Really? You just think? Get rid of it. It's stupid and doesn't belong there. Up for editing: "I think I can put my on my own pants." It's an I statement. Don't I know if I can put my pants on or not? Strip it. "I can put on my own pants." Ah, there's a strong character and a strong statement. Where would I leave an "I think"? Here: "I think I know how to get there." It shows that the speaker is unsure of what she is doing. That's what you want to portray. Unless, of course, you know that your character really does know how to get from Space Mountain to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad without getting lost.

was _____ ing You know what was ____ ing is. It's when you write was and any ing verb when what you really meant to write was past tense. For instance: "She was already feeling lightheaded and woozy." Really? Did I really do that? Yeah, and unfortunately I did it quite a big. Come on, Lorna, just say it like it is "She already felt lightheaded and woozy." Gah! One would think you never took honors English!

That Here is another word that we tend to throw in that just doesn't belong. Strip them. Go ahead. Put on some really good stripper music and take it all off. What am I talking about: "She was thankful that he was there to lend extra support." See? It doesn't even belong there. It isn't needed. It's a filler word that I would use to earn my Word Padding Badge over at NaNoWriMo. But it doesn't belong in well-written sentences. "She was thankful he was there to lend extra support."

Well, that should keep you busy for a while. And don't forget the stripper music. It's really important (because this is all really fun and easy editing. Save the Cold Play for the serious editing!)

Pulling out the Pulls

Or maybe since I've been on such a wonderfully fruitful editing streak lately I should say, "Editing out the pulls." I finally rewrote all the feels/felts from my manuscript and tackled the coulds. That was actually quite fun. But neither of those edits was as satisfying as rewording the pulls. As I edited them I made of list of words that I used to replace pull, pulled, pulling, and pulls. Here 'tis:

withdrew (form school - this is a YA book, please!)
gathered
dragging
handle
drew
carry
turned
entered
took
leading
snapped
held
slid
lowered
twirled
shrugged
tugged
drove
rumbled
snuggled
came
led
tore
set
turned
opened
influence

Now out of context one would think that none of those words could be interchanged with the pull words, but amazingly I found a way to make it work. Some of the edits required that I rethink the entire sentence or phrase whereas others were simple substitutions. I hadn't realized until I started this major revision how much we rely on the same set of words over and over. How I can have such a limited word base when I love words and have a fantastic library of books about words is beyond me. At least I love to edit and find no great insult in someone suggesting changes to wording and phrasing.

Go do this RIGHT NOW!

Seriously, I mean it. Drop everything you are doing, close all your extraneous programs, put on your editing music and open your most recent manuscript. Now using your "find feature" in your writing software (most have them, in MS Word 2007 it can be found under the "Home" tab to the far right hand side). Type in the Find box,"feel." It is the most insanely overused word ever! Seriously. In my 80,000 word manuscript I found almost 200 instances of feel, felt, feeling. There are better ways of expressing "I felt" than using "I felt." And guess what else? In many instances you can actually delete that little word and your sentence still makes sense. Really. Try it. And if that doesn't work, how better can you write that sentence without using "I felt"?

I only left a few instances of this word in and it was in places where the phrase is so ingrained in our vernacular that it just seemed silly to try to alter it. One instance was "How are you feeling today?" We say that all the time so why not use it? But the word feelings can be said so much better with the word emotions. I am amazed at not only how many times I used that word (or variation thereof) but how well-entrenched it is in our daily speech. Another example where I used feel too often was "The room felt hot." Um, what about just "The room was hot"?

So why are you still sitting here reading this? Go. Go edit. You know you want to now.

A special thanks goes out to RebeccaJoym for her tweet yesterday. She is the author of Infinite Days and blogs here.

Oh and when you are finished with feel/felt, try could and then pulled. I'll post more as I think of them (or share some you know.)